Note: This started as a comment to the most recent PMD-E journal, but it ended up summing up pretty much all my current feelings for the group so I figured I would post is as a journal too. For everyone who are watching me have kept me going for so long as I have.
PK. You say that you must have been a little bit nuts with creating the story for this group. It was really quite similar for me. I often felt like I was a bit nuts too with this group. I was part of it for two years, and during that time it often felt like the only thing I thought about. Not just my characters, not just other people's lovable characters, but most of all, YOUR characters and the story that you were telling. I was completely enchanted by how such a complex and gripping story could come out of something as relatively simple as Pokemon. I couldn't wait to see more of Devonshire's mysterious past, I wanted to see PK and Shroomshworth get back together, I desperately wanted someone to comfort Sandy. And I was always looking forward to making my own characters interact with them. That's really what made me love this group from the beginning, falling in love with great characters and then having my own characters in the same world with them!
There has been several times when I have questioned myself if it made any sense to invest so much to this group. Sometimes it felt like this group was my first priority over everything else: other hobbies, schoolwork, even friends. Creating my M8 entry in time was one of the most stressful things I have ever done in my life, because I refused to let the quality slip on something so important to me. Really, I guess now thing I'm the most sad about is that I desperately wanted my M8 to be finished before the deadline was because I wanted you to read it. I know it's a bit selfish to say this right now, but having someone I looked up to so much to read the story I poured my best talent into and comment on it would have been the best reward I could have ever gotten from it. But regardless, I did get a lot of lovely comments from other artists and watchers alike, so I know I should be content with it. Other times were hard as well: every time an artist whose stories I had enjoyed stated they were quitting, I felt like there was a small spot in me left empty. But I wanted to keep going anyway. Because I had found the joy of creating my own characters, developing them and having a story I really wanted to share with the world. I have never had very big ambitions in the career of art, but through this group, I learned how expressing myself through stories is something I want to keep doing in the future as well.
So when the shift in this group's management happened, it was really a pretty huge blow. At that point I was still optimistic about seeing the story continue, but I knew things wouldn't be the same. But since I knew that I can keep creating the story of my own characters, I thought I could manage. I had a story that I wanted to share with everyone. And I still plan to do it, even though the end of the group feels pretty devastating.
But this made me realise how much it must have hurt you to stop. To not have your story shared with the world, like you so much wanted to do. I'm only glad that art has always been a hobby to me, so I have no pressure in creating work that is completely my own. But I understand how much it means to you. And I'm truly sorry that you had to let everyone (probably including yourself) down by closing this group.
I'm sorry that this post became so long, but I just wanted to put to words how I truly felt. Thank you for always being an inspiration, PK, and thank you for this amazing, wonderful group. I will continue to walk forward with my characters I now love so much, I hope you can do the same with yours.